Thinking Matters

Did you know that your thoughts lead to your emotional reaction which then leads to how you act?


Here is an example that I like to give:


If we were sitting in a group of people, and a rabbit was released into the middle of the group:


One person might think, “Oh, what a cute little bunny! Rabbits are so soft and sweet. I love rabbits! I want to pick it up!” As a result, that person could feel happy, warm, loving and might move to go pet the rabbit or to pick it up.


Another person might think, “I hate rabbits! They scratch and bite. Rabbits are just awful rodents. Get it away from me! Get it out of here!” As a result, this person could feel fear, anxiety, anger, disgust and might move to chase the rabbit out of the room or the person might leave the room.


These different reactions come from the way the person thinks (and past experience which shapes thinking.)

This is why, if you struggle with emotions which overwhelm you or moods which hinder you, it helps to look at your thinking. Changing your thinking can help you manage your emotional reactions.


About now in my explanation is when people jump to the injunction to “think positive!”

Now, thinking positively does have its usefulness, but it has been used so often and it just doesn’t always fit some situations. Many people feel annoyed when they hear “Think positive!” posed as a solution.


The reality is that much of our thinking which leads to unpleasant emotions is extreme. It jumps to the worst outcome. It eliminates a variety of possibilities.


Managing your emotions can be helped by changing your thinking to be more moderate and reasonable. Instead of jumping to the worst conclusion, look at the situation as it is and think of how to handle it at that time.


The next time you are in the middle of a strong emotion or are distressed in some way, slow down and ask yourself, “Am I making this worse by how I am thinking? How can I handle what is happening right now?” 

Then you can choose an action to take such as doing something distracting or getting some exercise. You can look at what is in your control and make decisions about that. 


Change your thinking to manage your emotions.