Breakdown of Reason

I have been becoming more and more distressed by positions presented in the news, on talk shows, supported by various public figures, and rights groups. I, of course, have my own opinions and would like others to agree with me. But what is truly bothering me is the profound lack of discourse based on careful gathering of information and examining the pros and cons of different courses of action. 

I see people everywhere taking up positions, often based on feelings and basic schema, and then shouting others down and rejecting those with different views while labeling them. From my education over the years, I have been encouraged to think to solve problems. I have learned effective and ineffective approaches to thinking. There is the scientific method, there are the rules of logic, and there is the gathering of supported facts, and the use and misuse of statistics. 

Speaking of statistics, everyone needs to know that correlation does not prove causation. The finding or observation that two things tend to appear together does not prove that one causes the other. There could be another factor exhibiting its influence on the first two. Often, we are not aware of or have trouble identifying the true influence. In addition, my education on the mind and human nature makes me well aware of the mistakes in thinking and the misperceptions on which we all develop our belief systems.

Though I am confident in my intellect, I am also humble enough to know that I don’t have all of the information. That is why we form research groups, create special committees on specific topics, and employ fact checkers. But even at that, we must take caution that the individuals or groups presenting their findings could be influenced by their own biases, their desire for a certain outcome.

I and other citizens of the enlightened civilization are becoming more and more disenchanted by the systems we believed in to perform the gathering of information and the developing of reasoned approaches. The American government, we were all taught, has a system of checks and balances which is very effective. The free press, unencumbered and protected by law, is there to expose the lies and ensure that the citizens have accurate information on which to form their own opinions. The citizens expect to have the right to true and accurate information, to not be kept in the dark, ignorant and subservient to those in power. The systems are not working correctly and the general public seems to be losing touch with the value of being educated and informed, of doing the hard work of thinking.

As I observe the breakdown of reason in our government, our press, and our citizens, I feel a sense of danger. I fear that others do not see it. Or those who are aware do not know what to do about it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87AEeLpodnE

Are You A Happiness Hater?

Being happy seems to be an obvious shared goal for most people. People with ongoing unhappiness or distress often enter treatment with the assumed goal of feeling better, of becoming happier. But an actual fear of happiness may undermine progress. Research is finding that people have beliefs which lead to anxiety when they try to be happy. For example, some people have a sense that enjoyment leads to an inevitable fall when something happens to disrupt it. They perceive the pain of that fall to be worse when they have allowed themselves higher levels of enjoyment. Others feel uneasy with times of pleasure because there is only value in productivity, having fun is wasting time; relaxing is being lazy. They may fear negative consequences if they take time away. In fact, though evidence shows that people who take breaks, attend to only one task at a time, or who take vacation time have higher levels of productivity, society in general and many employers do not recognize this. Instead, they disapprove of and have negative perceptions of the person who takes time to rejuvenate. Some people, especially depressed people, have dampened all emotions and need to practice feeling any emotion including happiness.

The prescription is choosing to take time for relaxation or enjoyment, even briefly, and allowing oneself to experience it without judgement. I struggle with experiencing anxiety related to taking time for pleasure, and I have had to make conscious steps to counter it. I am so terrible at prioritizing fun that I was paralyzed when it came to planning it. For several years, my coworkers would claim vacation times, especially in the summer, and I would be so slow in even contemplating it, that it would be difficult to find days I could take off around what my coworkers had already planned.

Because I am so terrible at planning what I even want to do, I have taken to choosing some days around a weekend and days around my birthday during the summer even without knowing how I will spend the time. At this point this summer, this has resulted in my being able to accept an invite to spend a day with a couple of friends including going for lunch together. I just scheduled an appointment for a massage the day before my birthday. The day of my birthday happens to be a discount day for an activity I want to do, and the next couple of days there is a live music event including several bands. 

I have spent so many summers resentful at spending the entire summer inside working and missing out on nice sunny days when I live next to a lake. I finally invested in a standup paddleboard which I can manage loading and transporting myself. Now, when a good sunny day is in the forecast (we have a lot of cool, rainy days) I at least take a half day off from work, a whole day if possible, to get the board and me out onto the lake. Taking the time isn’t the whole solution. While out a couple of weeks ago, I consciously made the choice to stop, lay back, notice the warm sun, the soft breeze, the water rocking me on the board. I chose to let myself feel pleasure, otherwise, I would have made it just another workout routine for exercise!

Taking brief moments for pleasure is still a struggle for me. I feel guilty when I take a walk break in the middle of my work day every once in a while. When I arrived home from work yesterday, it was warm and nice out. I couldn’t find the motivation to go outside even though I had been inside all day. I consciously talked myself into just stepping out into the backyard for a moment. Pretty soon, the cat wandered up to me and was clearly happy I was outside. I sat in a chair and enjoyed the warm day as I sat in some shade and petted the cat at my feet. After a couple of minutes, I needed to go inside for something, but I had now had a taste of the outdoors, and I was compelled to go back out. Success!

This past Saturday, I spent time with a friend, went to a barbeque, took the scenic route there, and spontaneously decided to go shopping for a tree. In the middle of it all, I realized I had no plans at all for the day. I didn’t have a list of things to do that I felt I was neglecting. I was truly relaxed and going along with what was right in front of me. Now that was unusual for me! And nothing bad came of it; no terrible consequence for “wasting” a day. It was a very nice day.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/fear-of-happiness-underlies-some-mental-illnesses/

Join A Group You Care About

A sense of loneliness tends to precede the development of depression.

And depression often includes the symptom of loneliness along with isolation.

Since my early days as a counselor, my mentors instructed me to encourage depressed clients to get out and around people. At the very least, a friendly interaction with someone might occur and lift their mood.

It turns out that being part of a group helps to ward off depression, but it must be a group to which the person identifies and feels connected.

Multiple studies have shown that higher levels of group identification were related to lower levels of depressive symptoms.

Group membership can be a treatment intervention for depression.

In a 2013 study of over 4000 adults over the age of 50, those who were depressed and joined one group reduced their risk of depression relapse from 41 percent to 31 percent. Joining two groups reduced the risk to 21 percent. And with three groups, the risk dropped to 15 percent.

For group membership to be effective at decreasing depression, people have to closely identify with the group and feel connected to it, not just physically be around a group of people.

Groups help by offering support and a sense of purpose.

Some groups, however, do not protect. Groups that revolve around a destructive focus such as self-harm, substance abuse or a sense of victimization are groups to break away from.

Currently in my life, I am part of a group of people who work together as a team with the purpose of helping people get through emotional crises. I also am a part of online groups of handmade artists which actively support and encourage each other.

Go ahead and find your favorite group(s) and know you are contributing to your own and others’ well-being.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/depressed-try-the-social-cure/

Becoming Enlightened By Hanging a Light

I hung up a shop light today. I had purchased it months ago. It was often on my mind that it needed to be put up. But my luck with simple little household projects has not been very good. Usually, it is the attaching to a wall that just doesn’t work out. So I wanted the shop light installed, but I dreaded the possibility of a botched job. I doubted my ability to do that basic work.

It could be a quick project of possibly half an hour, but not in my case. First, I had to move piles of stuff that had landed in front of and on the table that I wanted the light to be above. Then I pulled the table out from the wall so a ladder could be set up. While I had things pulled out, it was time to sweep up the dirt. Then, it turned out I did not have all of the hardware I needed. As I drove to two different stores to find ceiling hooks, I countered my negativity about wasting time with thoughts of this being part of the fun. I will frequently make a run to the craft store without thoughts of wasting time. Why not enjoy a trip to the hardware store?

I climbed up the ladder with the new drill I had obtained at Christmas and still had not tried out five months later. I felt awkward balancing on a ladder. I felt awkward using a drill. I felt uncertain I was anchoring the screw enough that it would hold. I had to get reading glasses to see well enough to attach a pull chain to the light. I wondered if pulling that chain over time would be enough to cause the hanging screws to come loose. It all went into place and, for the time being, seemed secure enough.

This little project took three hours to complete. I got some space organized in the garage. I enjoyed the fresh spring air with the garage door open while I worked. I browsed through hardware stores and had new ideas. I practiced my handyman skills once more and seemed to do a little better than the last time I tried. I felt satisfied with my work space which will allow me to try out some electric wood working tools and learn a new craft. It always amazes me how a simple little project provides so much personal growth. It seems odd that to most observers there would be little understanding of the negative self-assessments which were overcome in order to complete it. And once again, it is a marker of my independence and self-sufficiency I keep proving while being single and managing on my own. I am tentative and anxious, but little by little, I gain some confidence. Definitely time well spent!

Seven Habits to Increase Resiliency (The Ability to Cope)

Resiliency is being able to go through a tough or even devastating experience and recover from it. The recovery is both mental/emotional and physical. Making it through a challenging experience creates a positive expectation of being able to handle other situations which may arise. Regularly attending to personal mental and physical health helps to build resiliency.

Mentally:

Moderate thoughts so that they are realistic and not exaggerating the problem.

Noticing what can be learned or gained from an experience, even a painful one, increases the ability to manage it.

Gaining strength from the experience increases a sense of purpose and wisdom.

Stay in the moment without making it worse by bringing in past negative experiences or adding on future worries. Accept the way it is without judgement and labeling. Face it. Make a plan for getting through it.

Being positive isn’t simply thinking happy thoughts. It is more about faith that one is capable of making it and realistically managing the current situation.

Physically:

Aerobic exercise has been shown to increase dopamine and serotonin in the brain which helps to elevate mood. Exercise also helps to counteract the stress hormone cortisol. The saying, “sweat it out” is good advice.

The aspect of competing against oneself during exercise and in physical activities helps to build resilience. Gradually asking more of yourself than what you did before is a healthy challenge which leads to improved confidence and awareness of ability. Going a little further, adding on time, increasing the difficulty all improve physical health and one’s appreciation of personal progress and strength - both physical and mental.

Making a point of regularly practicing healthy mental and physical habits will help you to be prepared for those significant difficult times that life presents.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/enhance-your-resillience-stress/

Value the Quiet

Silence. Many people cannot stand even a moment of quiet. They turn the TV on before the quiet can be noticed by their minds. Some have nonstop involvement with the computer or the game console. Some will say that they hate the quiet. But it is so good and healthy for the brain to have times when outside noise isn’t bombarding it.

The brain needs time to process the stimuli it has absorbed for hours in a day. Often this processing occurs at night while sleeping. It also takes place during daytime moments of quiet involving loose wanderings of thought. I grew up in a manner which allowed such moments to occur naturally. I lived in a rural setting. During the summer, I could find myself sitting at the edge of the man-made stream running through our property for irrigation of the farming land all around. There, I might pick up a stick to scratch and dig at small rocks in the dirt. I would watch ants busily making their way. My cat would wander up, brush against me, and receive my petting. A breeze would go through our Aspen trees causing the leaves to make a sort of light, waterfall type of sound. My parents did not worry that I was spending too much time on some electronic device. We didn’t have anything but a TV which we watched in the evening. Sometimes I would lie on the couch or on the floor in the living room just soaking up the sun coming through the window.

Quiet is often a comfort for me. So it puzzles me when I encounter people who are bothered by it; they seem even to be afraid of it. For health of mind and body, it would be a benefit for people to learn to enjoy times of quiet. The body needs regular relaxation to counter the effects of daily stress. The brain needs time to rejuvenate, sort information, store it into memory, and to physically repair. Problem solving and creative ideas come out of a brain that is allowed to process without focus or pressure. When we make ourselves think, we use known information in standard ways we have learned or been taught. When we let the brain percolate and make connections on its own, unique ideas can spring up.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201305/the-enemies-invention

These days, mindfulness has become a process encouraged for a number of benefits. It certainly is a way to fully attend to the moment, taking in sensations we might miss due to constant busyness and non-stop evaluative thinking. Mindfulness lets us experience a moment such as the sound of a bumblebee on a flower nearby. We can choose to set aside time for practicing mindfulness. But the randomness of a wandering mind is also healthy. We can choose to allow for unstructured time in which we allow our mind to do what it will. This is the kind of time in which people complain of boredom. Instead of fearing and avoiding boredom, learn to enjoy one’s own mind playing with a daydream or remembering an amusing moment or curiously wondering about something in the world. Put down the phone, step away from the game, and just be. Try it for just five minutes. Or enjoy a walk for physical health with the added benefit of free thinking. These days, we have to make the decision to give ourselves unstructured time. In order to do that, we need to see the value in it.

http://www.lifehack.org/377243/science-says-silence-much-more-important-our-brains-than-thought

Expectation Affects Physical Relief

It pays to work on your attitude. Personality and outlook contribute to changes in brain activity which supports relief of physical symptoms. Personality traits such as being resilient, straightforward, or altruistic assist the brain’s ability to reduce pain and other physical symptoms. Also, having an expectation of a positive outcome boosts the experience of relief. The brain actually produces more of its natural painkillers (opioids, endorphins), and brain activity increases in the prefrontal cortex and is dampened in the emotional regions of the brain.

Understanding how attitude relates to improvement helps in treatment. A commonly used coping method, distraction, did not show a reduction in pain during experiments. However, a focus on pain reduces pain intensity. Approaches such as accepting a situation and tolerating it, which improve resiliency, are proven effective in experiments on attending to pain and rating its intensity. Self-reported reductions in symptoms are found when altering expectation in conditions of pain, insomnia, fatigue, nausea, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), urinary and sexual function. An expectation of improvement contributes significantly to the effectiveness of antidepressants to reduce symptoms.

Research is building evidence that cultivating a positive outlook makes a significant difference in brain function which results in relief of many distressing symptoms. So make your daily list of gratitude, appreciate the little things, get the most out of good moments with mindfulness, and develop that ‘glass is half full’ attitude.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/placebos-work-better-for-nice-peopl/?responsive=false

http://www.nature.com/scientificamericanmind/journal/v24/n1/full/scientificamericanmind0313-34.html

Mental Athlete

Everyone writes about health, exercise, and diet in January for those expected New Year’s Resolutions. They write about how to get motivated and how to stick with it. Now it is April. I have had some success at losing a few pounds, but now find myself eating more chocolate and being bored with keeping track of my daily food intake. Luckily, the weather is getting nice. I have gone for a little lunchtime walk for the past three days at work. And yesterday, I happily mowed the lawn for the first time this spring. I have gone to the gym at least a couple of times each week over the winter, but I have noticed an increasing difficulty in getting myself to go. I am doing much reduced workouts since being injured. I have been observing my own mindset since the injury and the very slow recovery from it.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201603/broke-your-new-years-resolution

Actually, I have been observing my mindset about exercise since I was in high school. Back then, I was a complete non-athlete. I hated physical education because I had no skills and no endurance. I was ineffective and frequently felt embarrassment and shame. I actually did have some skills but no one noticed. No one helped me develop them and put them to good use. I could sprint and leave people in the dust. But in PE, we ran laps and I fell way behind and it seemed so hard. Fifteen years ago, I was diagnosed with exercise induced asthma, and currently I use a daily inhaler. In high school, I just thought I was lazy and weak. I had good hand-eye coordination. When I took a summer tennis class, I had a natural, killer overhand serve. But I never improved past beginner at playing the game. I could also throw darts quite well. But I couldn’t catch or throw. I couldn’t dribble a basketball. I could make free throws when I practiced, but not during a game. I lacked confidence. The messages in my head held me back as did the possible opinions of classmates. I had a sense that I was getting in my own way, but I couldn’t get past it. I believed there was something wrong with me.

I was naturally thin, so I didn’t need to exercise. I still was insecure. I was very knock-kneed and my mother had emphasized that along with supposedly having weak ankles. I was very near sighted. It was quite bad by the time I finally got glasses in the fifth grade. I think some of my lack of ability came from not developing my eyesight. I believe I still lack in fully observing my environment compared to the average person even with my eyesight corrected. When I did get glasses, they were very thick and added to my insecurity. Getting contacts a few years later definitely helped me to feel better about myself. As I grew up, I was attractive, so I still didn’t need to exercise. I had no cares about health.

In college, I joined a couple of friends in going to a gym to lift weights. It was an individual activity with no one counting on me to be good at something. I started out light and gradually increased repetitions and very gradually increased the weight I was lifting. I discovered comparing myself to myself and seeing gains in improvement was satisfying. After college when I was married, I had to learn to walk. My husband liked to go hiking. I was terrified of uneven ground and had to learn how to traverse even slight changes in grade. Also, I wanted to begin walking for exercise around my neighborhood. I was terrified to walk around the block. Some of my fear was a social anxiety. I didn’t want people to see me. I didn’t want to approach others and have any contact. I was shy and that embarrassment I felt in childhood still was inside of me. Some of my fear was being female. My mother had cautioned me in all manner of situations. We women could be prey. One of the basic protections was to always have someone with you. It took pure will power and a desire to overcome my fears in a personal growth experiment for me to begin going for walks alone around my neighborhood for exercise. Eventually, I was walking four miles at a fairly brisk pace. My confidence increased.

Several years later and still walking for exercise, I decided I wanted to try jogging. I had had terrible experiences in middle school and high school. I had tripped and fallen with my breath knocked out while jogging around a track. I had overheated and almost passed out. I had tried to jog just a little longer and found trying to increase in endurance was too hard. I believed I just couldn’t do it. But the confidence I had gained from my walking exercise had me ready to try again with jogging. I started with jogging just a little bit. It was my social anxiety that threatened to sideline me. I didn’t want anyone to see me jogging. I hid from cars driving by. I had learned that increasing very gradually worked for me. So to build up my jogging distance, I measured out one-tenth mile increments along my route and increased weekly by that amount. I knew others would find that increase too small and too slow. That is why I didn’t want to share in my activity with others. I still don’t like to make use of a trainer or have anyone coaching me. Having someone pushing me is bad for me.

But I improved. And I did start doing some of the local fun runs and 5Ks with friends and family. I then became competitive with myself and strove to improve my time compared to the year before in these various events. Eventually, entirely on my own, I ran a 10k (6 miles) and then a 10-mile course. Then, at the age of 40, I completed a half-marathon! I continued training for a few races each summer and tried a half-marathon again hoping that my experience and training would result in finishing faster than I did the time before. It didn’t. I finished slower and even “bonked” or “hit the wall” and could barely walk the last mile in. I decided I didn’t need to do half marathons. I had proven my toughness to my satisfaction. I continued doing 5Ks and 10Ks.

In 2014, I completed a 10K in September and was ready to back off and rest from training for runs. By the end of October, my foot was hurting after I had tried Pilates and doing a plank pose had really hurt while being on my toes. My foot swelled and redness appeared. In November, an x-ray didn’t show anything but it was assumed I had a stress fracture. I was placed into a walking boot. Healing was not quick, linear, or efficient. I was in and out of the boot as the foot did not heal completely. In January 2015, I had an MRI of the foot which showed evidence of healing around a stress fracture. I spent more time in the boot. This was throwing off my alignment and causing hip and back pain. Finally, at the end of October 2015, I was cleared to be out of the boot. Things didn’t suddenly improve. The hip and back pain continued and was severe enough to make it impossible to roll over in bed most nights and was disrupting my sleep. I am still recovering.

My mindset has had to change again. I have to be ok with lesser, mild exercise without having a goal such as a race for which to train. My pride is hurt. It doesn’t feel the same, not as satisfying. I am trying to find my new niche. I am trying to choose a personal goal that fits my physical condition. I am uncertain what activities I will be able to do for enjoyment. I am waylaid and have felt a lack of motivation. This makes me anxious. It is coming too close to how I felt as a non-athlete. I don’t want to give up, but what will encourage me to continue striving. The warm spring weather and being able to go for 20-30 minute walks, because of improved weather and because my foot can handle it, is giving me hope and helping me to feel better. The mind, with its perspective and self-evaluations, is behind everything we do. The kind of shape it is in determines what we actually do. It is the basis for how far we are able to go.