I went camping last weekend. I am not the same person I used
to be. Several aspects of this camping trip make that very clear to me.
Organizing and packing: I do it all and I am very good at
it. Several times this weekend as an item was needed I said, “I have that!” This
is in contrast to my ex-husband giving up on me by our second camping trip
partly because I did not contribute to organizing, packing or meal planning due
to not knowing how to do it. I have the ability now because after the divorce,
I wanted to take my two sons camping and I studied up on products and read
books in my own manner of learning and careful preparation. Do not ask me to
wing it.
Hiking: This trip, I hiked up a snow covered trail and over
streams by traversing rocks and wet logs until I came to a back-country high
mountain lake. Years ago, I was non-athletic and needed to be guided through
walking along a slanted trail and downhill. This weekend’s hike was not without
consternation, but I dealt with it with the confidence I have developed. My
feet slipped over the snow. I jolted and caught my balance and repeatedly felt
I might fall. I anticipated getting hurt. As I stepped on a log to cross a
stream, it moved and I did slip down into the water. My shoes and socks were
now soaked for the rest of the hike. I acquired a large bruise on my inner
calf. These risky situations would have paralyzed me in the past.
I still don’t like those thoughts
and fears. I wished I had brought my sturdy hiking boots rather than running
shoes and I am considering purchasing a walking stick for hiking situations. (I
had been told it was a groomed, moderate path. I didn’t think of snow.) Rather
than catastrophizing, now I tell myself such things as “So what if my feet are
wet. I am wearing my wicking socks. I shouldn’t get a blister and they will dry
quickly.” I also had confidence in my conditioning. I am a runner. I earned the
right to proclaim that about myself. “I
am a runner!” Years ago, with trepidation, I took up fitness walking. Now,
I am on ten years of running. I have overcome plantar fasciitis, bunions, and
am managing asthma. On this hike, my muscles and lungs were strong and I knew I
had endurance. I noticed my own preference: I will stick with running for
regular exercise. I prefer solid more predictable paths. (I relish forming my
own opinions on what is best for me.)
Camp Cooking: This trip, I tried Dutch-Oven cooking for the
first time. Chocolate cake was my debut! My brother-in-law who has known me
since I was a pre-teen exclaimed, “I can’t believe you went out and bought a
Dutch-Oven! I can’t believe you are even trying this!” There you have it. Being
willing to try something new, to take a risk, to go out of my way to pursue something
out of my regular experience is far from how I used to be. I prepared the
charcoal briquettes which used to be the man’s job. I forgot the cooking oil. I
decided I could substitute melted butter. It wasn’t finished cooking at the time
the recipe had indicated. I had to make decisions about additional cooking time
and on-or-off the coals. “Maybe the oil cooks hotter than butter and that
changed the cooking time,” I wondered. My camp-mates were impressed with the
resulting Chocolate Delight Cake. In my own mind I downplayed it as I tend to
do, “What is the big deal?” I realize the big deal is they know how far I have
come!
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