Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

I first read, “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” (1987) by Susan Jeffers, as a college student. A few key points have remained with me throughout life, even without specifically going back to the text for a reference.

The title itself has often been a mantra in the back of my mind. In situations where I want to take a beneficial course of action, but I am nervous about my ability or the actual outcome, I tell myself, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” It helps me to have the energy and confidence to take action.

In explaining how to get past fear to make a decision, Jeffers points out that at each step, we make a choice. Then, we find out how that turns out. If we do not like how it turns out, we make another choice. There is always another choice to be made. This seems obvious when stated, but we can tend to operate as if a particular decision is all there is. We tell ourselves we have to get it right. In actuality, we cannot know all aspects or know for certain the outcome of our choices. It is more important to know we can make further choices and that we are capable of managing what comes of our choices. I believe my grandmother used to say, “What come, what may.” Jeffers states, “Every time you encounter something that forces you to ‘handle it,’ your self-esteem is raised considerably. You learn to trust that you will survive, no matter what happens. And in this way, your fears are diminished immeasurably.” (Chapter 7, p. 117.)

In chapter eight, a life grid is presented which shows the importance of diversifying the number and type of people or activities which we value. I have used this grid to help get this concept across to my clients. For example, some people put all of their focus and energy into a relationship with another person. Nothing else in life is of much significance. In this instance, the grid is a single large box filled completely with RELATIONSHIP. If that relationship ends, the box goes blank, demonstrating what the person has of importance in their life – nothing. This puts the person into crisis. Instead, if a person develops several areas of value, several areas in which they invest their energy and focus, then they have an actual grid of several squares, each representing a different area of importance in their life: school, work, friends, relationship, hobby, spirituality, health. In this situation, if one area of importance slips or struggles, there are still several other areas which remain important and bring value into the person’s life. The multiple areas of value buffer and support the person while struggling in the one area. Their entire life does not go into crisis.

In an article related to this topic, “How to Make Yourself Do It When You Just Don’t Want To,” Halvorson lists as reason number one for procrastinating “being afraid you will screw it up.” While Jeffers emphasizes developing confidence in one’s ability to handle any outcome, Halvorson encourages thinking of the possible negative outcomes of non-action as a motivator to go ahead and do the thing you are nervous about doing. She also discusses a couple of other reasons for procrastination and specific ways to address them. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-success/201402/how-make-yourself-do-it-when-you-just-dont-want

Jeffers’ book is helpful to people who know they could make changes and improve their experience of life, but who stay frozen by their own fears.