Just two weeks ago, I received a phone call at night from my
son, away at college, who had just been in an auto accident. That experience
brings the subject of stress management straight to the forefront. Here was a
real threat. He could have been permanently injured or killed by this accident.
It was sudden and completely out of one’s control. It compounded upon previous
stressors we had already been managing. I needed to rally and to cope.
In the face of a sudden, serious threat, the body’s fight-or-flight
response initiates. The activating hormone, adrenaline, and the stress hormone,
cortisol, are released into the physical system. During an imminent threat,
this is the exact and appropriate change needed. A person becomes more alert
and energized, the heart beats faster, respirations increase, muscles tighten,
and all of the body’s resources are mobilized. Bodily functions which are not
essential to the moment are dampened, such as digestion, rest, and repair.
For my son, the fight-or-flight response was quite helpful.
He was able to pull himself out of the car through a broken window, climb a
steep embankment, travel by foot seeking help, cope with being wet and freezing
cold, keep his wits together to obtain items he needed such as a room key and
access to a phone as his were lost in the accident, and was able to communicate
with police, tow companies, and myself. I was at home experiencing the
fight-or-flight response which mainly served to help my alertness and problem
solving in communicating with my son. I also mobilized the next day to contact
insurance companies and traveled to my son to ensure he got medical attention
and practical matters were accomplished.
A few days after this intense moment, my son and I both felt
the after effects of the fight-or-flight response. During the emergency, our
immune systems were dampened, digestive functions were delayed, rest and recovery
functions were set aside. My son came down with a sore throat. I came down with
a severe intestinal flu. He reported exhaustion, headache, muscular aches and pains.
Unfortunately, the stress from the accident doesn’t go away
quickly, it continues. Now my son was behind in his school work and he had
additional new work as well as exams. I had numerous phone calls and tasks
related to various insurances, phone service replacement, auto replacement,
financial issues and increased requirements for problem solving.
The question arose:
How do we keep going without falling apart?
A recent article in Psychology Today discusses the
connections between exposure to stress and lack of supportive environments to
the triggering of mental illness in those with predisposing factors. It also
notes research connecting cortisol to changes in the neurotransmitter,
dopamine. This is one of the neurotransmitters involved in mood disorders such
as depression. The presence of cortisol is also related to weight gain. Research
continues to support the need to effectively manage stress in order to maintain
health.
There were several stress management techniques which I
employed during this time.
Modeling: I thought of my parents who were always there for
me. They steadily and persistently managed life stresses. I could feel the
presence of their support during this time even though they have both been
passed away for several years. They were an example to me and I would do the
same for my son. I would persist and manage the situation. My son also
demonstrated that he would persist, possibly influenced by my being an example
to him.
Cognition: My thought processes were very important during
this time. I was very aware of aspects of stress management. I consciously gave
myself permission to take the steps needed to manage stress. I also managed my
thinking, catching and altering negative and defeating thoughts. I advised my
son to not get upset about future worries which had not come to pass.
Time Management Choices: I prioritized tasks. Things like
laundry and basic house cleaning were neglected. Medical and financial matters
were the main focus. I took a day and traveled to my son to get him medically
assessed and to take care of practical matters. I took a two hour lunch one day
and spent the time making phone calls and completing paperwork.
Communication: I informed my co-workers who then made
accommodations for me and altered their expectations of my work load. The
physician who examined my son wrote a letter asking the school and professors
to take into account my son’s situation. My son e-mailed his professors and all
of them extended the deadlines for assignments.
Limits/Boundaries: I said no to some activities and
postponed others. I said no to friends and family for the time being. I also
delegated some aspects to my son as was possible.
Exercise: I continued a mild to moderate exercise routine.
Though I am a runner, I only felt like walking on the treadmill. That was ok. I
still went to the gym, did the treadmill, and lifted some weights. I started
doing some Pilates exercises at home. Exercise helps to expel the lingering
cortisol, the stress hormone, which remains in the body. It also makes use of
any adrenaline which is still being released. The following article discusses cortisol and exercise and nutrition.
http://www.inc.com/minda-zetlin/two-easy-changes-that-will-stress-proof-your-brain.html
http://www.inc.com/minda-zetlin/two-easy-changes-that-will-stress-proof-your-brain.html
Rest/Sleep/Relaxation: My needs for sleep increased and I
allowed myself the downtime. I slept on the couch during the news. I went to
bed early. I kept a schedule and a routine. I like to stretch for relaxation.
Some people implement mindfulness or meditation techniques. Some listen to
music. The main thing is to allow yourself time to rest. Do something which
counteracts the stress response and turns it off.
Two weeks from the accident, my son and I seem to be
recovering. Chronic stress takes a toll on people physically, emotionally, and
mentally. Be aware of the real need for stress management, make it a priority,
and give yourself permission to take care of your own health.
